No.1654533
"no"
*cums on webcam*
No.1654534
Done. This might be why I’m a balding low t cuck.
DR. /sp/EE ANY ADVICE?!
No.1654551
>>1654534inject t, buy wigs, pad your bulge
really that easy
No.1654553
>>1654528you should always invite youe female coworkers to a private session when you punch your meat
lets them know you are packing a monster 2.6 incher, so they know not to mess with you
No.1654565
protip:
the best way to get laid is to run into a crowded high school cafeteria with a gun held to your own head and scream SEX TIME SEX TIME SEX TIME GIVE ME THE SEX TIME
No.1654597
UPDATE
i haven't been fired yet but my boss is acting sorta distant
cortisol levels still thru the roof
No.1654599
>>1654597present him with a j.o. crystal, you'll know whats up by his reaction
No.1654675
UPDATE
ya im p. fucking sure
he invited me to a VERY EXPENSIVE event that the company gets a few tickets to every year because >we help sponsor it.
its in november, so probly not getting fired.
the more i think about it, this is how it think things went
>close out of remote viewer
>remote viewer still has processes running
>it tracks all my web traffic and maybe even sends it through company VPN
>jack off to some obscene shit on /gif/
>gets caught during audit and informed
>"oh fuck my BEST GUY is gonna get nailed"
>basically barges in the room first thing in the morning and forced my alibi
>"HEY ANON YOU FALSE ALERTED THE PORN FILTER LOOKING FOR PDFS!"
dude knows. dude knows and fucking COVERED for my ass.
will still have elevated cortisol levels for another month
No.1654676
>>1654675maybe he saw you were looking at all those gooning/sissy hypno video and now he wants to make you into his personal sissy hypno slave
No.1654679
>>1654676he saw
>GIRLS RIMMING– NO BLACK and recognized a fellow patrician
No.1654680
>>1654679a bitch be into rimming and ask for a kiss right after
No.1654686
>>1654679they make wnba dunk contest pron?
No.1654687
>>1654675>using /gif/u prolly deserve to get fired that place is a fukn cesspit just like the rest of that forsaken site
No.1654749
So, I work in IT at a mid-sized company, and the stuff I see while monitoring our systems can be downright wild. A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon one of the craziest incidents I’ve ever encountered, and it all revolved around two coworkers: Greg and Bob.
Greg is that friendly, hardworking type—everyone loves him. He’s the go-to guy for team morale and is always quick to lend a hand. Bob, on the other hand, is a bit more laid-back and often teeters on the edge of inappropriate when it comes to office behavior. One day, while I was checking our security logs, I noticed some strange activity coming from one of our workstations. Turns out, Greg had been using Remote Desktop to access his work computer from home. Nothing unusual at first, until I started to see a pattern.
It started innocently enough; Greg was just working from home, or so I thought. But then, the logs showed him browsing some questionable sites. I thought, “Oh no, not this.” As I dug deeper, I found that he had wandered into a sketchy corner of the internet and was looking for NSFW GIFs.
Meanwhile, I discovered that Bob was also browsing similar sites. Unlike Greg, though, Bob ended up downloading a virus that infected our company’s servers. Things escalated quickly when our internal systems flagged an ongoing infection. Luckily, our security protocols kicked in just in time to prevent any drives from getting encrypted, but alarms were blaring. I launched an audit immediately, and it became clear we had a serious problem on our hands.
A few days later, my worst fears were confirmed. Our boss—who manages both Greg and me—called me into his office, looking pale. He informed me that the company had suffered a cybersecurity incident, and we were about to be hit with some serious repercussions. He then dropped a bombshell: the logs showed that Greg had been looking for NSFW GIFs, while Bob had been the one who downloaded the virus.
I could see the gears turning in our boss’s mind. Instead of throwing Greg under the bus, he decided to cover for him. “Let’s say he was looking for free PDF downloads,” he suggested, almost pleading. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I understood wanting to protect your favorite employee, but come on!
To make amends for the situation, our boss invited Greg to a company event with limited tickets. I sat there, dumbfounded, thinking about how Greg’s “PDF search” was going to hold up under scrutiny. Meanwhile, the rest of us in IT had to clean up the mess and ensure that this didn’t blow up in our faces.
In the end, we managed to contain the situation, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was watching a sitcom unfold in real life. Who knew that two guys I worked closely with could be at the center of our cybersecurity scare?
So, here’s my takeaway: next time you’re working from home, for the love of everything tech-related, make sure your Remote Desktop is disabled before you venture into the depths of the internet. And if you’re going to search for NSFW content, maybe do it on your own time!
No.1654765
>>1654760new spee banner just dropped
No.1654768
>>1654760when duddr misses the next vps payment for spee cuz he's dead i shall seize his domain and move the serb to montana
No.1654888
>>1654749woah thats wild it sounds just like my situation
No.1654889
>>1654760based i wanna visit montana now
No.1668154
remember
No.1668157
is this the it helpdesk? spee server is really slow today. saars, can you make it faster plz?
No.1668158
lel
No.1668276
>error posting
>error posting
>error posting
>error posting
staph it dudder
No.1668286
>>1668157do not presume ther is problem with server
there is no problem
you are the problem
go fuk urself
thank u hav nice day of many blessings